Question:

How can I help my SON who has accumulated $15 000 in debt as a result of playing poker to STOP Gambling? He insists that skill is involved and that poker is not gambling. With all the TV hype that surrounds poker it is difficult to convince him that the skill he is developing is mostly a skill of financial hardship.

Answer:

Convincing someone to STOP Gambling, QUIT Gambling, or ADMIT that they have a gambling problem is difficult. This is because denial and selective perception, work to blockade the problem from conscious awareness.

In order to help someone get onto the road to recovery, the person who is choosing to gamble eventually has to make a realistic assessment of how their gambling activity and behaviour is affecting their own well-being and the well-being of those who are connected to them. Before this occurs a closer look into the problem and its effects, as well as a better understanding of what causes and constitutes the extent of the problem, is required.

You can assist with helping an individual to consider or recognize the first step "which is to admit they have or may have a problem" after that,  the desire to recover ultimately has to be sparked from within the person who is experiencing the distraction and creating the adverse effects that gambling related behaviour and activity can cause.  

Our suggestion for “How to Help” is below:

Purchase a copy of Shawn and Drew’s 21 Steps to STOP Gambling System and Workbooks. Read through it yourself first and it will help you to understand and gain insight in regards to the differences in how a problem gambler thinks and how a responsible gambler thinks.

After you have read through each of the steps, use your newfound understanding to help you keep your bearings. Then offer the set of 21 workbooks to your Son and suggest that an important part of being a skilled gambler is understanding how to behave and think like a responsible gambler.

The workbooks are designed to help the troubled gambler develop the skills of responsibility, achievement, and success – that are required to stabilize them.

If your Son at first simply recognizes that this program could help him, that will get him started. Once he gets started encourage him to keep reading. Ask him which step he is working on discuss the steps content, or suggest that he utilize the online support forums to help him progress.

After reading through the workbooks, participating in the self help exercises within them and checking in with the on-line support, there is an excellent chance that he will no longer be able to perceive poker and gambling as the most worthy activity for him to share his skill-sets and abilities.